A new study suggests the psychology behind romantic infidelity closely parallels criminal behavior. Researchers analyzed online forum posts from 81 self-identified cheaters, applying criminological theories to their narratives. The findings, published in Deviant Behavior, indicate that infidelity, while often legal, shares core traits with crime: it provides a reward, harms a victim, and risks severe consequences.
The analysis revealed cheaters frequently cited general strain, like relationship problems or life stress, as a motivator. To avoid detection, they employed restrictive deterrence strategies, using secret communication and deception. Importantly, they used neutralization techniques to suppress guilt, such as blaming their partner or claiming no harm was done if the affair remained hidden.
“Cheaters frequently described their lies and concealment as a way to not only protect themselves, but also to ‘protect’ their partners from harm,” said co-author Tova Cohen. The study had limitations, including a male-skewed sample from online forums. However, it underscores that the thought processes behind harmful acts may not differ based solely on legality.